25th February 2019

Creative writing: now and then

Kayaking up onto a freshly discovered beach, I felt my mind racing with enjoyment and relief as I haul the kayak onto the printless golden sand. Before going crazy with excitement, I decided to look around and take it all in. Birds of vibrant colours screech at one another from the tree tops like young children. Fresh Scents of pollen fill the nostrils of an adventurous me, lusting for something new to explore. The smell was a fantastic duo with stench of the ocean, which was dominant for most of the year. Flowering plants and the lush grass helped shape my imagination of the perfect place into a reality. The sight of new red Pohutukawa tree leaves blossoming excites the childish feelings in me. All of this matched with the gentle overlap of the waves and the still trees creates this mini paradise, undiscovered for generations. That lingering taste of sea salt rebirths memories of hot salted chips on a warm fridays afternoon.Countless holes dug into the side of the dirt cliff would be housing for the birds that migrated there for the spring, waiting for their return and to house there new young. The sound of the seas foam bubbling away in the sand and the gentle swish of the grass makes me feel right where I was supposed to be. Looking at the clean fade of the sparkling ocean turn from light blue into a dark, I see ripples of darting fish dash across the bay. Small rock pools thriving with life, are scattered around she shore, each housing more organisms than a small town. My face drenched with sunscreen, and the radiating sun on my cheeks, I knew that this summer would be hot!

That was a long time ago now. The seasons have changed and the beach I once knew was a completely different place. Birds I once admired had all disappeared as well as their delicate symphony which had brought life to the trees. The warm golden sand I once stood on was now grey, hard and cold. The only duo now was the whirlwind of sand and the vicious sea spray , battering against my eyes and burying itself into my thick jacket. Bright flowers and lush grass that once soaked itself in the sun had now shrivelled and turned the colour of decayed wood. The trees violently thrashing in the wind and having countless leaves stripped off with every gust. More and more taken and being held in a whirlwind of debris. Rock pools once warm and thriving were now cold and lifeless. All these pools added to the unwelcoming vibe that the beach portrayed to everyone at this time of year. The paradise that was once on display had now faded back into the dark, gloomy landscape that came annually. Howling winds that had started a bar brawl of trees to fight, had done the same to the ocean. Deep powerful waves that matched the colour of the inky sky, stained my eyesight with a dark blue. Thousands upon thousands of raging whitecaps rolling towards the shore were lusting for the sensation of smashing into the rocks and wearing down the landscape. Unlike the spring, I didn’t feel like I belonged here, but more felt like an object out of place that needed to be banished. After all it wasn’t spring anymore, it was the cold, windy, obnoxious autumn.

Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. Bryce, there is captivating word choice in this writing – well done. I also appreciate the aspects of these scenes that you have chosen to describe.
    In the final time available, you will need to:
    1) Complete the second timeframe description, as thoroughly as the first.
    2) Correct all technical errors (spelling, punctuation and grammar) – there are a number of errors here, so read your writing out loud to find the corrections that are needed.
    3) Consider how some vocabulary could be adjusted to remove any unnecessary repetition.
    4) Craft your sentences so that some purposefully link and flow together and others are isolated and distinct.

    I hope that these comments help. All the very best.
    Mrs Waide

    Reply

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Writing